It seems to be the topic of the day. Everywhere I look or go, someone is talking, writing or discussing Self-Love but are they living it? The thing is, as human beings in the world we live into today, most of us are starving for it and we just don’t know it. If individuals had more of it, then well, we would be living in a much healthier, abundant and happier world and our collective reality would be incredible!
I always thought because I loved myself I must have Self-Love too, however loving yourself and having Self-Love I found out the hard way, are two very different things. I had been thinking about my Journey To Self Love workshop and why Soul Therapy sessions are such a powerful tool on the Journey to Self Love and wondering how can I communicate to other women how vital cultivating Self-Love is to their lives? So I started to think about all the times I was unkind to my body, I thought unkind thoughts toward myself, how I took in too much alcohol, sugar, food and medications. How I was in toxic relationships and was not living my purpose. Today this is not the case. However, it has been a journey to get to the place of joy, abundance and freedom from my emotional pain and trauma that I can now assist others on their Journey to Self-Love.
I believe most women feel, as I use to,, that they love themselves and convince themselves that is enough, while if that is true, then why are they are possibly saying unkind things to themselves such as how fat they are, or dumb or ugly or maybe they are in a relationship that is toxic and doesn’t serve them just so they don’t feel lonely, or they may have alcohol, a cigarette, or take medication to dull the pain of trauma or life, the heartache, the stress.? Maybe they eat too much sugar for the same reasons. See, the truth is, every thought, or hurtful action just keeps you stuck in a vicious cycle of pain, having “not enough”, thoughts of lack, feelings of sadness and feeling that it is hopeless. That was actually me, and still, on a bad day, my mind will take over and I might spin for a bit in negative self-talk, but now I have the tools to quiet my mind, and reconnect to my heart. In addition, I know now that I have a choice in every thought, in every action and how my life will unfold. I know that I am really responsible for monitoring my thoughts, controlling my actions, my reactions, my responses and how I show up in the world. I create my reality and my life. Now, knowing this, I feel empowered and happy which is cultivating the Self-Love I sought, which allows me to receive the abundance, health, wealth and love I desire.
So what do I mean by “Where is the Self-Love?” I really mean “Do you practice Self-Love every minute of every day by choosing you first above all others?” It is making choices that serve you, your heart, and your body. It is about putting the oxygen mask on yourself first, so you can be there for others. It is about making choices that allow you to function at your optimal level of energy, and enjoy your life, living on your purpose, being all of who you came to this planet to be. To cultivate Self-Love you need to first start by healing the shadow side of yourself. It is about shining a loving gentle light on those pain points, traumas, shame, aspects of yourself that you have denied, and then shifting behaviors that do not serve the adult that you are, and changing your reactions to triggers and more. Truly, it is about shining the beautiful light of love on the parts of yourself that you have been denying and hiding from yourself. It is about taking responsibility for your life and everything in it.
It might seem easier to stay stuck, play the victim, blame others for your situation and your circumstance, I totally get that, but you know the truth is that we all have had difficult life events, dysfunctional family dynamics and more, but it is how we choose to use those life events to drive us to be the best versions of ourselves, to use the universal energy source of Love to shift and change us from the inside out so we may shine, and love ourselves so we can then show up for our life, fully empowered, responsible and free from pain and suffering. Are you willing to find Self-Love?