I used to think that courage was a woman who was adventurous and took risks, who was daring and strong. After doing the work in Soul Therapy School I have a deeper perspective on Courage. Courage is a woman who is unafraid of looking deep into her soul to see both her strengths and weaknesses. One who is plagued with life’s challenges and chooses to rejoice in the beauty of life. One who is willing to overcome the conditioning that no longer serves her soul and finds her authentic self. For me that would be my Codependency.
Codependency had me by the throat for the majority of my life. I could never understand why I would do, say and act in ways that were not me, like I was watching someone else live my life ….all the while I was screaming inside to be let out. What made me dishonor myself so? Why I would not trust my instincts when I knew something was wrong for me? Why would I place all of my self-worth in the hands of a toxic relationship? These were answers I yearned to find and thus began my journey into self-discovery.
For the last 18 years I have been slowly unraveling the depths of my codependency. Every book, class, teacher and retreat brought me new insight and healing; however, I could never quite reach the core. As I continued to live from my codependency I knew there was something I was missing but could not quite grasp it. When I least expected it I found Soul Therapy School. This was my missing puzzle piece. It gave me the tools to dig even deeper than I have ever gone before and unleash the root and all of its dark scary tentacles. Come to find out, what was deep inside was not so dark and scary after all.
Courage is being willing to honestly and without judgement look at oneself and see the beauty in the perfection and imperfections. I was finally willing to do just that. I became acutely aware of how abusive I had been to myself. How I disrespected, dishonored and abandoned myself over and over, therefore, attracting relationships that reflected the same. I was shocked to discover how low my self-esteem was even after all these years of work! One day I woke up, the veil of illusion had lifted and my AHA moment hit. My soul was yearning for love, approval and happiness. I was not going to find it in men, shopping, traveling or anywhere outside of me…..I was to find it within. I have known this intellectually for years, however, now it reached the depths of my soul and I finally understood. Self-love is the key. I have been searching and searching and all along I had the key. Thus began a new journey for me….A journey of true courage, gentleness and self-love. Would you like to join me?