“If only I looked like her….she has the prettiest eyes. I wish mine weren’t so boring. Wow, she is beautiful. If only I looked like she did. If I where skinnier I could have been in that relationship. I should have went to the gym today, maybe if I wasn’t so lazy I would have. I am so stupid I forgot to ( fill in the blank)”. Is your mind chatter verbally and emotionally abusive?
Do any of these conversations sound like your thoughts? Or how about when you look at yourself in the mirror. What are your reoccurring thoughts towards yourself? “I am such a fatty, I shouldn’t of eaten that donut. Look at my thighs, they are huge. Why couldn’t I have been born beautiful? I hate my hair and the color is so dull and boring. My skin is blotchy and my nose is too big. My top lip is too small, just like my breasts. I am so ugly, thank goodness for make up.” These are self-sabotaging thoughts and you are being abusive to yourself through them. It is sad that in today’s society this is found acceptable, even normal behaviour. Our mind chatter can be very self-sabotaging leaving you feeling small, worthless and defeated.
Imagine how your life would be if you changed your perception about yourself. What if you learned to love your small breasts, big thighs, and blotchy skin? You could spend more time feeling fulfilled and loved instead of ugly, stupid and alone. For many reasons you are taught by society that you have to look and act a certain way to be considered beautiful. So you allow yourself to feel ugly and not good enough.
The real truth is we are all beautiful in our own way. We are conditioned to believe otherwise so we verbally and emotionally abuse ourselves with our mind chatter. Think about it, if you had a friend tell you all the things you told yourself, they wouldn’t be your friend. So why do give permission to be abusive to yourself, and how do you feel it benefits you by doing so? Take a moment and think back on the thoughts you have had just today about yourself.
I have an activity to help shift your mind chatter into self love more then self hatred. Daily affirmations are the easiest way to start loving yourself more. Say these three affirmations three times a day for two weeks:
I am beautiful and perfect just the way I am.
My body is the perfect size for me right now.
I love myself and all of my perfect imperfections because they are what make me, me!
You will notice at first you may feel silly saying them, or they may make you cry. Different emotions may arise and thats okay. Any emotion is perfect to this moment. Just keep on saying them. They will eventually feel normal and comfortable to say. It is always nice to change up your affirmations once in a while but remember to continually respect and say loving things to yourself. It can be fun to make your own up.
I would love to hear how these affirmations have influenced your thoughts. Challenge yourself for one to two weeks. Follow these affirmations daily and see what shows up for you. What feelings arose for you? If you would like to share them, email me at [email protected]. Or if you would like more guidance and support please contact me by email and we will set up a 15 minute consultation to see where I can support you on your journey.
I serve and support women who are interested in changing their lives to create a more fulfilling life – with an eagerness to grow. I love working with new mothers and single parents.
Her greatest pains: lack of self love, not connected, does not know or understand fully that we create our reality by our inner world.
Her greatest fears: they are not enough, they do not deserve what they desire, they are not worthy.
Her deepest desires: to live more authentically (from their soul), learning to create abundance in all areas of their life, to feel whole, loved and supported unconditionally. Licensed Soul Therapist Wendy Walker